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June 8, 2010 / lionelbean

World Pup Soccer

My agent called today. “You’re familiar with the Soccer Dog franchise, right?”

I was like, “Bark, no.”

So I Googled it.

Apparently it’s this Air Bud ripoff from the late 90s about a dog named Lincoln who’s amazing at soccer. The sequel – Soccer Dog: European Cup – is apparently a more political film (its cast includes Orson Bean, who you’ll remember played shrewd businessman/shopkeeper Loren Bray on 146 episodes of “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman”, a role he reprised in the made-for-TV movie, “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman: The Movie”.)


An independent producer bought the rights to “Soccer Dog” in anticipation of releasing a third installment in time for this year’s World Cup in South Africa, but as of yesterday, the pup playing Lincoln was found dead in his trailer next to a full dish of treats and an overturned water saucer. Probably a sex crime.

So my agent sent my reel to the guy, and I guess he likes me for the part… but i’m not sure about it.

For starters, I don’t love the idea of stepping into a role that’s been pioneered by another canispian. Nobody wants to be the Jason Bateman to the original Lincoln’s Michael J. Fox. No contest!

Also, I read the first 15 pages of “Soccer Dog: Apartheid”, and it’s fucking brutal. Totally unbelievable – the love interest is an endangered leopard? Come the fuck on.

Plus I’d have to do an Afrikaans accent, which I haven’t rehearsed since I did that Tim Monnich workshop when I was up for Leo’s role in “Blood Diamond”.

I don’t know. On the other hand, a cheque is a cheque…

What do you think I should do?


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