I’m conflicted about these so-called “socks”.
I mean, I understand that peoples marinate them all day long in a shoe and then abandon them in the closet basket so that I’ll have something interesting to find and put in my mouth in between meals and carrot cleanings. Obvs. I get that.
But I feel kinda bad for the poor rubes – what’s in it for them?
The answer is “nothing.” And that’s why, after a lot of sole searching, I’ve decided to give back in kind; from now on, if I step in a dead thing, or some street juice, or even a puddle of Lionel’s Own, I’m going to share. By putting my foot in J or Ms. P’s mouth while they’re sleeping.
Surprise! Is there any better way to wake up than via the subtle bouquet of paw on tongue? If there is, I can’t think of one. But what I can think about – what I will think about – are the smiles I’m going to bring to their faces, and the holes I’m going to put in their socks.
